Tonight I’m writing you. You above all, know the reason why. The separateness of our being as distinguished by night and day had forced me to do so, despite my weary eyes and worn out body. We both know that I exist at night and my illusion had far fed you of uncertainties- but comfort at most. Reminiscing the past, when, where, and why have I existed perpetually hunts you but it is my endeavor and perpetuated aspiration to always be there. Remember those years we’ve parted, how you grope in desperation with no absolute sense of existence?
Sure it was hard, to question your value, your being, your identity and above all- your purpose. You’ve never trusted me and despite our efforts to reconcile, here we are again, stuck in the midst of nowhere filled with trepidations and perplexed with the demands of expectations. It deeply worries me that we are dwelling in the darkness much longer than before.
Do you remember when you had your child and everything was just smoothly laid out for you- the worst planned from others? You were doing fine, but just that. Above all, you were doing great swarming on futile circles, no dreams, no aspirations- nothing. Then the knell called you from afar. You grabbed it with uncertainty but later on, the grief that slowly sank, never healed. The amount of anger and hate you daily struggle with is now slowly devouring you just like how you watched your body slowly giving up. Yet still, nobody cared. The pains of your suffering are yours alone and the attempt to cure it had lead us to the pen and paper. Irregardless of the effort and amount of courage you put into yourself, it has been left underappreciated by the people you thought should have.
The simple rule of keeping quiet, enduring the torture of loneliness, had allowed you to become severely introvert. Oblivious to others, you are as good as dead but for some reason, you kept writing as if you are alive. Nothing exists anymore other than your words that mattered most to strangers. Despite your persistence and endeavors, you will never be granted your only wish as easy at is was. Death is a cancer and now that it had taken your spirit, one day it will take your body but your soul will remain among the living. It will remain for they will lament your absence due to their selfish reasons of emotional attachment. Sadly, that was long gone from you and inclusive of others. Apathy is just the word to name your reward, for years of practice, no doubt you have mastered it.
At this present you are tasked to linger longer on life with me by your side. With hope, I wish we will never part once again, for I am yours as you are mine.
exiled947 